We regretfully announce the passing of
Liberty Larson
7/3/2006 - 7/7/2007

Summer = Trouble. The kids get out of school, and quickly get restless. They feel the need for something new and exciting. Last year, they focused that need on one particular target: Katelyn and Emily wanted a pet.
We don't do pets in this family.
We've tried.
First, there were goldfish. Dirty, and not very fun. Do they have a redeeming quality? Mercifully, they didn't last long.
Then came the cat we "rescued" from the pound, and then returned to its original fate. I don't even remember its name, probably because my brain has blocked it out. Unfortunately, I do remember
some of the irritating, disgusting, and insane details of that 3-day trial. In the end, I decided my sanity was more important than my desire to give my children the chance to love animals the way I assumed I might have, if only I had been allowed a pet at a young and tender age, myself. It's ok. I'll accept responsiblity for raising a new generation of anti-pet freaks. When it comes right down to it, being an animal-lover is truly not the measure of a (wo)man. Am I right, or am I right?
Well, let's ask Doug about that. He doesn't seem to agree 100% with me on that.
It was Christmas Eve, 2002. Doug had come home from work (yes, he always had to put in a half-day on Christmas Eve--but that's another story for another time), and I had noticed a big package, "hidden" with dark shopping bags, taking up the back seat of his car. I smiled a secret smile, and wondered all day what exciting and romantic gift my thoughtful husband had in there for me. After the girls were all asleep, and we started getting ready for Santa to arrive, Doug asked me if I wanted to see what was in his car. "Yes!!" I could handle a sneek peak.
If you're anything like me, you'll never believe what it was.
It was a bird cage, and everything to go along with it, except the bird. And, obviously, it was NOT for me! He's a sneaky one, that Douglas. He knew that there was nothing I could do to stop him at that point. And he came off looking like a true hero the next morning, when the girls giggled with glee and talked about the pet they would soon adopt. Thanks, Daddy!
A week later, we brought home Lucky Buns Larson, a small green parakeet. I must admit, Lucky turned out to be a pretty decent pet. It was a family rule that I would have absolutely NO RESPONSIBILITY for the care and keeping of this bird. Doug and the girls were excited enough that they didn't mind doing everything for Lucky. In fact, Doug took upon himself the responsibility of clipping Lucky's wings one night. As we all know, there's good reason that Doug did not become a vet or any type of medical professional. That little escapade ended in the death of Lucky Buns. Oopsie.
We immediately replaced Lucky with another parakeet, this time a blue one. We decided it was a girl, and gave this bird the feminine version of Lucky's name: Lucy. Lucy Goose Larson. (I think naming pets is the only aspect of ownership that I actually enjoy.) If Lucy had been a real goose, she would have been served up as a fancy French pate a few weeks later. I found her food and water bowls empty, and reminded Katelyn that it was her job to keep those clean and full. She complied. That afternoon, however, I found Lucy bloated and dead at the bottom of her cage. After reading up on parakeet care, we think she might have stuffed herself, after her long fast, and caused some sort of internal injury, like her stomach exploding. Oops, again.
We took a break from pets at that point. But we kept the girls hanging onto the thin hope that we would once again have a pet, because Doug (who is famous for throwing things away) refused to get rid of the bird cage. We even paid to move it here to Washington. After we bought our house and moved it again, I finally found an opportunity, while cleaning out our garage, to get rid of the silly bird cage.
Now, back to where I started. It's the beginning of summer break, 2006. Katelyn and Emily are too bored and spending too much time sitting in their room concocting crazy ideas. They become obsessed with the desire for a pet, once again. They harass me about it all day. I tell them no. They plead, argue, and whine. It gets to the point where I pull out the last stop: "Talk to your Dad about it when he gets home." That was the wrong stop to pull. In short, he said
yes!
So, July 3rd, they pool their allowance together and buy a new cage, and a new bird. In honor of the holiday, they name this blue parakeet Liberty (li-
bird-ee....get it?). My only consolation was to think, "We've never had a parakeet last more than a month. I can hold out that long again this time..."
To everyone's suprise, Liberty lasted. She lasted one entire year. We actually had to arrange pet care during a couple of vacations. How bizarre!
However, during her one year anniversary in our home, Liberty took a serious turn for the worse. We had noticed that she had some sort of skin condition recently, and Doug thought maybe it was a diet deficiency, so he tried giving her some fruit along with her regular bird seed. But one day, just after the 4th of July, Liberty's condition got very bad, and she was bleeding quite a bit. Doug was ready to release her to the wild, the girls were ready to take her to the vet E.R., and I was ready to vomit. After a serious family council, we decided that it would be best to take Liberty to a nearby forest area and "let her go." Emily and Lauren wanted to hold the bird one last time. While taking these pictures of their last moments with Liberty, I noticed that whatever parasite or condition she had, it was attacking her face, too. It was serious cause for the HeebieJeebies.
I feel completely justified in saying, "I told you so!" Pets are honestly gross. And I'm pretty sure Liberty is the very end of our experiments on that principle.
But it's ok, we're not completely anti-animal freaks. We have a family pass to the zoo.